Get in touch with your feelings by literally touching them!
Have fun discovering, discussing, and embracing your love energy and fear energy emotions.
Our games and exercises can help you live life consciously so you can turn negative self-talk into positives.
Based on the philosophy that all feelings can be narrowed down to two categories…Love and Fear, Hey U.G.L.Y.’s 52 card deck has 25 love energy cards and 25 fear energy cards with two ‘Gratitude’ wild cards. We chose gratitude
because that state of being can repel negativity which allows our inner joy and love to shine.
One of the games people love is Buddha Said (scroll down to see games and exercises). Buddha says, if you want to get out of one emotion go to it’s opposite. In our deck of cards, each love-based card has an opposite fear-based card. The object of this game is to see how fast you can put all the love feelings over the opposite fear feeling.
You can play this game like Solitaire or compete with your friends.
PROFESSIONAL ENDORSEMENTS
CARD GAMES & EXERCISES
BUDDHA SAID
(to be played like solitaire or with a group of two or more people)
There are 25 love energy cards and 25 fear energy cards
- Remove the two Gratitude love energy cards
- Go through the deck of cards placing, face up, all of the fear energy cards.
- Deal out the love energy to the players
- Have each player take turns placing, face up, the corresponding opposite love energy card.
BUDDHA SAID
(to be played like solitaire or with a group of two or more people)
There are 25 love energy cards and 25 fear energy cards
- Remove the two Gratitude love energy cards
- Go through the deck of cards placing, face up, all of the fear energy cards.
- Deal out the love energy to the players
- Have each player take turns placing, face up, the corresponding opposite love energy card.
WAR
(to be played like solitaire or with a group of two or more people)
The goal is to be the first player to win all 52 cards
- The deck is divided evenly, with each player receiving 26 cards, dealt one at a time, face down. Anyone may deal first.Each player places their stack of cards face down, in front of them.
- Each player turns up their top card at the same time and the player with the love energy card takes both cards and puts them, face down, on the bottom of his/her stack. If the cards are the same rank, it is War. Each player turns
- Winner: The game ends when one player has won all the cards.
WHY BULLIES BULLY?
( to be played with a group of two or more people)
- Separate the love energy cards from the fear energy cards
- Take the fear energy cards and turn them face up
- Have the player on dealer’s left select the card he/she thinks and feels is the main reason why a bully bullies.
Open up for a discussion with your group. When discussion ends. The next player selects a card and proceed as above, until all fear energy cards have been used.
WHAT ARE THEY AFRAID OF?
(to be played with a group of two or more people)
- Separate the love energy cards from the fear energy cards
- Select a fear energy card, for example, jealousy. Think of someone you know who is jealous, or a time when you were feeling that fear energy. What do you think a person is afraid of if they are jealous.Share it with your group, then open it discussion to find out what others think. When you have finished, the next player takes a fear card, and the process continues. This game is designed to help you move out of fear energy and to also have empathy for yourself, and others, when they are stuck in a place of fear.
OBSERVE YOUR FEELINGS –
STOP SELF-BULLYING
( to be played with a group of two or more people)
- Go through the deck of cards and find all of the negative word/s your mind repeats over and over again. Set those cards on the table face up.
- Close your eyes and pretend you are holding your phone. Imagine it is full of all the negative thoughts you have taken onto yourself from all the bullies in your life. All those words that make you feel like you are worthless and unimportant. Now, on the count of three delete all those negative thoughts. If you are alone, you add another method that helps get pain out of your body. Yelling. This time, on the count of three, yell the word DELETE as you press your imaginary phone. Now,close your eyes and picture all of that negativity leaving your body. Next, take a deep breath and replace all that negativity with something positive about yourself. Take another deep breath and open your eyes.
- Part Two of exercise: Now it’s time to fess up. How many of you have negatively judged someone? Just like it hurts to be negatively judged, that’s what we are doing to others when we negatively judge and gossip about them. Go through the deck of cards and pull out all the negative negative judgments you’ve had someone. Hold those cards in your hands and, on the count of three, through them in the air and then imagine something positive about them. You can give yourself bonus points if you go to Hey U.G.L.Y.’s Project Apologize on this website. Read the story and then actually apologize to the person you negatively judged. It can be life transforming.
SPEAK YOUR FEELINGS
(to be played with a group of four or more people)
- Dealer shuffles the cards and deals one card to each person
- Dealer asks person to his/her right to show their card and explain how that feeling either affected their life or how they overcame it. If they have NOT experienced that feeling they can return the card to the dealer and request another card. The dealer buries the card into the deck and deals that player the next card on the top of the deck. The player can now discuss how that feeling affected them. Time limit is one to three minutes. That person discards his/her card and picks up another card. The game moves on to the next player.
HOW WAS YOUR DAY? WHAT’S YOUR TOMORROW?
This is a good exercise to do at the end of the day to help you on your journey to being the YOU you want to be.
- Before you go to bed look at each card and select all of the feelings you felt during the day.Separate the love energy feelings from the fear energy feelings.
- Look at each fear energy card one at a time and ask yourself, “what was I afraid of and does this happen often?” If you would like to practice not feeling that fear, find its opposite and practice going to that energy the next time you find yourself in that space.IMPORTANT NOTE: If it is a feeling that happens because you are fearful of physical or emotional hurt from another person…classmate,bully, teacher, parent, coach, etc….talk to a trusted adult like your school counselor, a professional therapist, relative, teacher, etc.
- WHAT’S YOUR TOMORROW? Experts like best-selling author,Stephen Covey, say planning your day the night before, is a key to success.Go through all of the love energy cards and plan out how you want your tomorrow to go. How do you want to feel when you…1 ) wake up, 2) get dressed, 3) interact with people, 4) take a test, etc.Spend a few minutes looking at the feelings you’ve selected and picture yourself going through your day. At the end of your day, to back to Step One and see how close you came to living your life the way you wanted to.
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WHY BULLIES BULLY?
( to be played with a group of two or more people)
- Separate the love energy cards from the fear energy cards
- Take the fear energy cards and turn them face up
- Have the player on dealer’s left select the card he/she thinks and feels is the main reason why a bully bullies. Open up for a discussion with your group. When discussion ends. The next player selects a card and proceed as above, until all fear energy cards have been used.
OBSERVE YOUR FEELINGS –
STOP SELF-BULLYING
( to be played with a group of two or more people)
- Go through the deck of cards and find all of the negative word/s your mind repeats over and over again. Set those cards on the table face up.
- Close your eyes and pretend you are holding your phone. Imagine it is full of all the negative thoughts you have taken onto yourself from all the bullies in your life. All those words that make you feel like you are worthless and unimportant.
Now, on the count of three delete all those negative thoughts. If you are alone, you add another method that helps get the pain out of your body. Yelling. This time, on the count of three, yell the word DELETE as you press your imaginary phone. Now, close your eyes and picture all of that negativity leaving your body. Next, take a deep breath and replace all that negativity with something positive about yourself. Take another deep breath and open your eyes. - Part Two of exercise: Now it’s time to fess up. How many of you have negatively judged someone? Just like it hurts to be negatively judged, that’s what we are doing to others when we negatively judge and gossip about them. Go through the deck of cards and pull out all the negative negative judgments you’ve had from someone. Hold those cards in your hands and, on the count of three, through them in the air and then imagine something positive about them. You can give yourself bonus points if you go to Hey U.G.L.Y.’s Project Apologize on this website. Read the story and then actually apologize to the person you negatively judged. It can be life-transforming.
HOW WAS YOUR DAY? WHAT’S YOUR TOMORROW?
This is a good exercise to do at the end of the day to help you on your journey to being the YOU you want to be.
- Before you go to bed look at each card and select all of the feelings you felt during the day. Separate the love energy feelings from the fear energy feelings.
- Look at each fear energy card one at a time and ask yourself, “what was I afraid of and does this happen often?” If you would like to practice not feeling that fear, find its opposite and practice going to that energy the next time you find yourself in that space. IMPORTANT NOTE: If it is a feeling that happens because you are fearful of physical or emotional hurt from another person…classmate,bully, teacher, parent, coach, etc…. talk to a trusted adult like your school counselor, a professional therapist, relative, teacher, etc.
- WHAT’S YOUR TOMORROW? Experts like best-selling author,Stephen Covey, say planning your day the night before, is a key to success.Go through all of the love energy cards and plan out how you want your tomorrow to go. How do you want to feel when you… 1 ) wake up, 2) get dressed, 3) interact with people, 4) take a test, etc. Spend a few minutes looking at the feelings you’ve selected and picture yourself going through your day. At the end of your day, to back to Step One and see how close you came to living your life the way you wanted to.
“Wow! DEAL, FEEL, HEAL is an extraordinary book by Betty Hoeffner. I just finished reading it cover-to-cover this morning – in one sitting. But, of far greater importance, I am looking forward to reading it again and again to savor each simple, yet profound, section to carefully extract every little gem of loving wisdom it shares! To me, Betty was already Wonder Woman in her super-human feats to bring understanding and healing and an end to substance abuse, bullying and suicide amongst youth in the US and around the world. Yet, throughout this book, she shows us, how in every difficult situation we encounter in life, we may all learn to progress on our way to greater peace, joy and fulfillment. Never before have I read a book, offered as a kind of easy-to-use resource and guide for young people, that so inspired me and that brought forth a bouquet of smiles and far more than a few tears of joy, as did DEAL, FEEL, HEAL.” Michael J Tamura, Spiritual Teacher and Author of YOU ARE THE ANSWER
“Betty Hoeffner is to be commended for the honesty she deals with the subject of both being bullied and even at times being a person who has bullied others. In ‘DEAL FEEL HEAL she talks about her life-long journey to find love and respect for her own person, as well as to better understand how other people feel. She shows us how a person, with some hard work and self awareness, can learn from her mistakes and become a stronger, better centered individual. In sharing her efforts to be the best person she can be, Ms. Hoeffner teaches us how we can overcome our own fears and limitations to become better, more caring people.” Bill Zimmerman, author & creator of MakeBeliefsComix.com
“Betty Hoeffner is to be commended for the honesty she deals with the subject of both being bullied and even at times being a person who has bullied others. In ‘DEAL FEEL HEAL she talks about her life-long journey to find love and respect for her own person, as well as to better understand how other people feel. She shows us how a person, with some hard work and self awareness, can learn from her mistakes and become a stronger, better centered individual. In sharing her efforts to be the best person she can be, Ms. Hoeffner teaches us how we can overcome our own fears and limitations to become better, more caring people.” Bill Zimmerman, author & creator of MakeBeliefsComix.com
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